Broken Relationship? Get Over It! (2)

• Get busy!

Do not make a mistake idling away your free time. This is the time to engage your mind creatively as much as possible. Conventional wisdom holds that the best way to overcome an addiction is to replace it with another one (a positive one). It is time you rediscovered that one thing you have always been passionate about and pursue it with all your energy. Surround yourself with as many positive and like minded people as you can as this will keep you from sinking into further depression.

·         Get some fresh air

Do yourself some favour; do not take yourself out of circulation. Make new friends. Reconnect with old ones. Remember, life is a web of relationships. You will not go very far by isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Do not be ashamed to come out with your new status, no matter how ridiculous it may seem at first. The truth is life will always go on, no matter what happens.

·         Maintain a positive attitude

Find a reason to be thankful despite everything you have been through. Whatever does not kill you will only make you stronger. Now you can see things from a broader perspective because of your experience. Again, make sure that you do not harbour any iota of hate or regret in your heart because, while the hurt may have dealt you a big blow, the hate can do more as it fills you with thirst for revenge which can ultimately result in self destruction. Find a reason to happy with yourself. Set goals and congratulate yourself when you achieve them.

·         Give yourself a second chance

Everybody deserves one, and you are not an exception. There will always be a next time whether you believe it or not. Look on the bright side of life. Learn to love yourself unconditionally, and this means accepting yourself with all your faults and shortcomings. Loving yourself first puts you in a better position as it boosts your confidence and self esteem. It is easier to have a healthy relationship with someone who believes in his/herself than someone who looks to others to help them boost their confidence.

Bear in mind that building a relationship with someone takes a gradual process. Do not attempt to rush things. On the other hand, do not allow yourself to be rushed into anything you are not ready for. Get to know the person well enough before you make any form of commitment. Take your time: think, research, and pray hard about it if you have to.

Finally, you might want to give yourself some time off before you go into another relationship. People take time to heal and you cannot rush the process. If you go into another one too early, you might find yourself taking out your frustrations on your new partner, and this could be detrimental to your new relationship.

Cheers.