Broken Relationship? Get Over It! (1)

You’ve been through it and you’re hurting like hell. You did everything you could and yet, it did not end well.  Going through a breakup can awful. The truth is more people than you know have been through it. Yes, it hurts but you’ve got to let it all go and move on as if nothing ever happened because you would do yourself more harm than good if you carry leftovers from your previous relationship into the next one. Here are useful suggestions to help you get over that hurt.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

• Stop brooding over what went wrong

While it may be productive for you to reflect with the purpose of identifying what you or the other person did wrong, preoccupying yourself with the thought of what you lost can do more emotional damage than you can imagine. It will keep you wallowing in a past you’d rather forget and prevent you from moving into a future you’d rather have. Why should you cry over spilt milk? What’s done is done and there is nothing you can do to change it. Identify and learn from the mistakes you made and move forward. Work consciously on those areas of your personality that needs improvement.

• Let go of the past

Whether you choose to accept it or not, the past is what it is: – THE PAST. There is nothing you can say or do to bring it back. The best gift you can give yourself is to let it all go.

The first step to letting go is to forgive yourself and your ex. If you claim to have forgiven the other person while you still secretly hold yourself responsible for what went wrong, you have a long way to go. Forgiveness is a double edged sword. When you completely forgive someone, you absolve them of all the responsibility for the hurt they have caused you and you also let go of your pain. Forgiveness is not complete until you choose not to hurt anymore. You have to make a conscious effort towards it. It is at this point that you can say with assurance that you are free from your past.

Secondly, talking about your failed relationship with people of like minds who can offer you sound advices helps. You are not alone in your experience. There are a thousand and one people out there that have, and are still going through the same thing. Sharing your pain will lighten your burden and make you see things from a brighter perspective. Apart from the therapeutic effect that talking about it brings, they can also offer you insights on how to handle things better next time from their own personal experiences.

• Give yourself a facelift

While this suggestion might sound a little vain, it will go a long way to boost your self confidence and esteem. It will also increase your chances of hooking up faster.

Change your wardrobe. Buy yourself a new lipstick or a new pair of shoes. Change your perfume. Get a new haircut, change your hairstyle. This tends to reinforce in your subconscious that thing are different, that you are over it. It also tells everyone that cares to look that you have moved on.

• Concentrate on the future

The future holds greater things for you. You cannot afford to let one awful experience haunt you for the rest of your life. This might be a good time to revisit you personal mission statement and make the necessary adjustments. Set new goals for yourself. Polish up the old ones; make sure that they are in line with the times. Devote your focus and energy to the things that matter in your life – your professional development, academics, spiritual growth, and social network.