Get On The Right Bus (1)

......if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.

In a bid to get to work on time, Zoey jumped onto the first available bust at the Bus Park. She had woken up 30 minutes later than usual that Monday morning and was certain that she would miss her 7.30am resumption deadline if she does not attach herself to a moving bus right away. She could not care less that the one she had boarded wold not take her normal route which was shorter and faster; all she wanted at that moment was to be on a moving bus!

45 minutes later, the driver announced that he would be turning back two stops away from her normal stop. Hence, she became stranded as she found herself in an unfamiliar environment. It took another 20 minutes to gather herself and locate another bus that would take her to where she was going, but at this point, she had lost so much time. She eventually arrived at work at 8.10am, and spent the rest of the day lamenting the woes that befell her that morning.

What went wrong? She boarded a bus on time, and yet was late to work.

In truth, she did everything right except that she that the bus she boarded was not the right one. A little more focus and patience would have gotten her to the office not only earlier, but more composed that morning!

In life, we often found ourselves in a hurry, perhaps because we suddenly wake up to realise that time had passed us by, and we need a lot of catching up to do. We are a few years behind the time we should have gotten married; we should have gotten a job 5 years earlier; we should have built that mansion 3 years back; we should have had that baby 6 years ago! Because of this time lag,, it is natural for us to want to rush things just to get to that destination we felt we should have been earlier, and so we accept anything that comes our way so long as there is a promise to get us there.

It is not a problem for anyone to run late. The question is “is the bus we’re on is going in the right direction?”.

At the beginning of this year, many of us wrote New Year resolutions as usual.

These resolutions represent the destination we intend to get to at the end of the year. But again, I ask; are you on the right bus,? Will the bus you’re on right now get you to that destination at the end of this year? Will your present actions and habits get you the desired results? What do you feed your mind with daily?

...to be continued.

TOWARDS PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS - Continuous Learning

Change is the only constant thing in this life. Right from the time we were born, change (both physical and mental) is one thing that has kept us relevant in the scheme of things. First, a child learns to mimic a smile before he learns what a smile really means. He giggles when he is exited. He makes cooing sounds when he is contented. He belches when he is full.....after nine to twelve months; he learns to walk….and afterwards, jump, run, dance etc. All these are fun for the child who is just discovering the beautiful world he was born into a short while ago. All these are also learning processes through which the child acquires skills he would need all through his lifetime.

It has been said that most people spend their adult life defending what they already know. That is the mistake a lot of people make as learning in reality never stops. Learning is a lifelong process which requires that we constantly shed or update (as the case may be) old information, beliefs and even lessons in order to embrace new ones. That is the only way anyone can remain relevant despite the passage of time.

As we grow older, we become more responsible for our own personal growth and development. The onus then falls on us to ensure that we acquire the right skills/information that will enable us to stay relevant in the new age. This goes beyond a new academic degree…as a matter of fact; degrees only contribute about 50% of the skills you need to stay relevant. Much of what you need can only be gotten outside of the classroom i.e:

i.                    Networking

ii.                  Books

iii.                Journals

iv.                 Training courses. Etc.

Do not misunderstand me. I am not insinuating that experience is important, neither am I encouraging you to do away with what you know is right. However, most of the knowledge we acquire today have a lifespan of about one year or less (given that we are in the information age). It therefore becomes imperative for anyone who wishes to remain relevant in this time and age to always be on the move in terms of learning.

You would find it surprising that the term backwardness and retrogression is no longer taken to mean that one is taking backwards steps. In contemporary times, it refers to anyone who is not taking a forward step. Normally, in a race, if you are not moving forward, you would remain on the same spot while others would have gone ahead. Hence when your situation is assessed alongside that of your peers who have gone ahead, you can be said to have retrogressed simply because you have not moved from the same spot. The same applies to our daily lives as you pursue your career, family, wealth, and other personal aspirations.

Remember, the key to relevance is to constantly learn and relearn, for the day we stop learning is the beginning of the end.

Have a great year ahead!

Towards Personal Effectiveness

Maintaining Your Integrity


This article is the first in a series that is aimed towards ensuring personal effectiveness. Personal effectiveness is something that begins on the inside. What we present to the outside world for people to see is only a tip of what we really are. It is not strange to find that some people just do not fit in wherever they go, not because they are not good at what they do, but because of certain personal traits that drives everyone around them crazy, and lowers people’s confidence in their ability. One of these traits is lack of integrity.

Integrity has been defined as the possession of firm principles: that is, the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards (Microsoft Encarta Dictionary, 2008). Another definition also says that it the quality of being honest and fair. Integrity makes people have confidence in you, even in the most hopeless of situations. It makes people defend you in your absence. Integrity is built on reputation, that is, what you have been known for over a period of time. It is not just about what you say, but what you do, especially when no one is watching.

The issue of personal integrity encompasses virtually every aspect of one’s personality and character. In this article, I am going to deal in part with the aspect that has to do with relationship with people.

• Never misrepresent the truth, even when you are tempted to do so.

The fact is you are bound to get caught sooner or later. By lying, you make the problem a part of the future when you could have put it behind you by dealing with it right away. People will not be able to completely trust you anymore once you have been caught in a lie. Why then would you want to stake your reputations on one little lie? It is not worth it, is it?

Half truths, white lie, play on words, tacit denial or simply misrepresenting the truth all fall in the same category: LIE! For you to be an effective liar, you will have to keep a journal of the lies you have told so you could defend them whenever they come up. But would you be able to do that? And even if you could, wouldn’t you rather do something productive with your time and energy? Think about it.

• Idle chatter? No! No!

This is a major time waster. Idle chatter never results in anything productive. When you talk about people behind their backs, you are setting yourself up for an unpleasant confrontation. Remember how you felt the last time you heard that someone made a snide comment about you in your absence? How was your relationship with them afterwards? What is your opinion of them?

The truth is, idle chatter not only wastes your precious limited time, but also puts a big dent on your integrity. If you have an issue with someone, why don’t you talk it over with them? Though they might find it a little uncomfortable initially, but they will hold you in high esteem for even having the courage to walk up to them.

Let your conversations be focused on achieving a particular goal. There is nothing wrong with keeping your mouth shut if you do not have anything meaningful to say. Shallow thoughts belittle you in the eyes of others.

Tip: next time you feel like discussing someone in their absence, stop and ask yourself these questions:

1. Would I be able to repeat what I am about to say in their presence word for word, without any embarrassment?

2. Would he/she be offended if they know that I am discussing them with a third person?

3. Am I sharing this information about them with another person because I am seeking for a solution to a particular problem?

4. Is this information I am about to share going to cause the other person embarrassment?

5. By sharing this information, would I be betraying someone’s trust and confidence?

If you would not engage in idle conversations, then it is only fair that you do not encourage friends and colleagues to bring you tales about others or to engage in such talks when you are around. When they come to you about such mindless talks, you could discourage them by asking them to confront the person directly.

• Be true to your word.

Making empty promises is one of the fastest ways to lose credibility with people. It is better not to promise at all than to fall short of what you promised. As the saying goes: Under Promise and Over Deliver! This way, you will reduce the chances of disappointing people. Everyone likes to be seen as reliable, so, regardless of the circumstances, DO NOT go back on your words. Be honest when you know that what is being demanded of you cannot be done. You might hurt people’s feelings in the short term but over time, they will learn to rely on whatever you say as the gospel truth.

• Timing is everything.

Keeping to time takes a lot of hard work and self discipline. Being punctual for meetings and appointments gives the impression that you are a serious minded person. If you are going to be late, call in advance to let the other person/group of persons know with genuine reasons. Punctuality shows seriousness and impresses others and yourself. It also puts you in a vantage position especially during business meetings or negotiations.

To be continued...